I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
