Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
