I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
