i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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