Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
