i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
