I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
