That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didn't notice because vodka
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
