morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
