whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
