She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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