I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My ass is underappreciated
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
