There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
