I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
