He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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