Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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