Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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