Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
