The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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