You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
