you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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