i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
