new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
