I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
