A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize