i just google imaged poop.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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