You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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