she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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