u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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