Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
