We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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