I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
