i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize