Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
