I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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