Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
