Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
