i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
