They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
