im holly from the hills drunk
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
