I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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