and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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