hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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