we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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