it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
