i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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