but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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