I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
