Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize