Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
