I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
