i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize