does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
