Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
