saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
