You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
