do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
