Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
