Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
