My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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